Hades is a legitimate contender, maybe even frontrunner, for Game of the Year in 2020. Some might say it came out of nowhere, but with a developer like Supergiant Games, maker of Bastion, Transistor, and Pyre, gaming insiders should have seen this success coming. With its high-octane gameplay, unforgettable battles, player choice mechanics, and beautiful artwork, anyone who missed the boat down the river Styx should buy a ticket now.
However, no franchise is safe from a good meme. Make a bad game? Welcome to meme hell. Make a great game? Welcome to meme heaven! Actually, in a game about escaping hell, maybe heaven isn’t the right word, but the point stands. The journey to the surface is one that gamers will be struggling with for a long time to come, so enjoy a few memes designed specifically for fans who have braved this path.
10 Over Before It Started
The Twin Fists of Malphon are a fun item to use that give Zagreus the feel of an old-school boxer. He gets into the faces of enemies, locks them down with a flurry of jabs, and then delivers a serious uppercut. Sounds fun, right?
It’s already impressive when players manage to get past Megaera with the Twin fists, but imagine how someone would beat the Minotaur up close with virtually no defense. The fists are fun, but they have a hard cap on greatness.
9 The Real Hardest Boss
This one will be met with some controversy. Of course, it’s the “Change My Mind” meme, so debate is encouraged. Hades is, fittingly, the final boss of the game and he poses a tough threat as he comes back to life several times.
Yet it is beating Megaera that poses a bigger obstacle. Due to her quick reflexes, an endless arsenal of moves, and early appearance, players are largely unprepared to face her. Hades, on the other hand, only has about four real moves, does them slower, and only appears after players have the boons and items they want. It is more frustrating to die on the last boss than the first, to be sure, but the first is the bigger threat.
8 No Kidding
Water is wet, the sky is blue, and hell is hot. People will argue back and forth about whether Hades is the best roguelite game ever, but most people won’t have anything to add about statements like these.
There is something humorous about Zagreus commenting on Asphodel being so hot. The guy’s feet are on perpetual fire, for goodness sake. Players have to remind themselves that he comes from a non-traditional hell every time he complains about the temperature.
7 Just Die And Start Over
Lightning strikes sound so awesome, don’t they? They conjure up the image of enemies being electrocuted to death in a combination of single blasts and chained shocks. Sadly, the fantasy does not live up to the reality.
As a personality, Zeus is a top diety without a doubt. As a buff, he is possibly dead last. Ares gives better damage buffs and everyone else has more utility. Players who intend to make it far in the crawl will simply die and start over if Zeus is the first buff to appear. Remember that the first buff will be frequently offered up to the player, so it’s going to be an entire run filled with bad news.
6 Don’t Do It!
Every Hades gamer has given in to the temptation of the random buff. They’ll be sitting there with 50 Obol and single-digit health. There’s some food available for some health. And then they set their sights on the mystery door.
They tell themselves every lie in the book. They are convinced that the right buff is worth risking death for. What if it’s one of the best boons in the game? Then they chance it, get an Aphrodite buff, and die. Before playing another round, players should treat any gambling addictions first.
5 Decisions, Decisions
During the game, Zagreus will give out gifts to almost everyone in an effort to collect some lovely keepsakes. In the process of giving out nectar, players will naturally come across the opportunity for a romance with one of two characters.
Thanatos, the seductive Death Incarnate himself, is a longtime friend who feels jilted when Zagreus tries to leave without saying goodbye. Megaera frequently fantasizes about ripping Zagreus “limb-from-limb,” but conversing with her can redeem the relationship. The community might be split, but they don’t have to be; players can romance both with no strings attached.
4 No Free Lunch
How does 150 gemstones sound? Or 100 health? Or 200 gold? Great, right? In Hades, these rewards come in the form of treasure chests and the eye-popping numbers entice all but the most disciplined of players to try their luck.
The drawback, of course, is that Hades himself notices when these chests are tempered with and he sends a whole mess of his minions to stop the act. The reward goes down rapidly the longer it takes to kill them. Sometimes, Zagreus will suffer near-death damage for a payoff of 10 gemstones. Oof.
3 Friendzoned
There is nothing at all wrong with a strong friendship. Theseus and Asterius require expert skills to beat in large part due to their respect and companionship for one another. Dusa is well within her rights to only want a platonic connection. But her timing is an issue.
When is the right time to tell someone who has a crush that the feeling isn’t mutual? It should be well before they blow six nectar they could have spent on another romance, or a buff, or a keepsake. Zagreus makes his intentions known early and gets cruelly shut down late.
2 One Wish
How does someone looking to get past the Bone Hydra progress? Extra dashes from Hermes is nice. Getting lucky and surviving a Chaos boon sure doesn’t hurt. Going in with the appropriate keepsakes is a good idea, too.
But deep down, players all know what they want for that first boon, no matter what weapon they are using. The Daedalus Hammer gives a different buff for each weapon and the buff is always top tier, integral to beating the games toughest bosses.
1 It’s Not Gonna Be OK
Hades gamers know what it’s like to clear and room and look at the ground as sigils form to indicate where the next enemies are coming from. Sometimes, much to the horror of the community, that ground is covered with tons of runes.
Then there is a sense of relief as the enemies turn out to be nothing more than easily dispatched skulls. Zagreus runs up, hits one, and they don’t even flinch. They’re armored. Get ready for a world of pain clearing this room, gamers!
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