10 Retro Mario Memes That Are Too Hilarious For Words | Game Rant

Super Mario has been a Nintendo staple for years, and the mere mention of it sparks a sense of nostalgia in fans of all ages the world over. With Nintendo continuing to treat fans with tons of new Mario games (many of which are remasters of the nostalgic classics), this is likely to ring as true a decade from now as it does today.

RELATED: 10 Mario Sunshine Memes That Are Too Hilarious For Words

Naturally, this provides the internet with an absolute treasure trove of meme-worthy material that just seems to grow year after year. However, memes spun from the game’s more classic roots have a sort of universal appeal that can unite fans both old and new for a good, nostalgic chuckle that thoroughly bridges any generational gap.

10 The Ninja Turtle Koopa Troopa

Well, Koopa Troopas are not too threatening on their own. A couple bops on the head and they’re done for. However, there are a few larger, more intimidating turtles out there that Mario should be worried about: the Ninja Turtles, for instance. This meme suggests that Koopa Troopas are nothing more than Ninja Turtle babies — a truly terrifying concept for plucky crimson-clad plumbers.

There are several variations of this meme, but this one is the most language-appropriate. These guys aren’t messing around — given the size of that sword, it looks like Mario needs to contact his good friend Link to help him win this battle.

9 Nihilistic Toad

Mario’s main purpose is almost always to save Princess Peach, who has a bad habit of getting kidnapped by Bowser. In the original Super Mario Bros game, one of these Toads sits and waits for Mario to complete each castle. When Mario gets to the end, the Toads will break the news that Peach is in another castle. All that Goomba stomping and shell tossing for nothing!

RELATED: 9 Mario Galaxy Memes That Are Too Hilarious For Words

This twisted meme version depicts a very nihilistic Toad, who instead claims that the princess isn’t anywhere, and that life is nothing more than suffering and illusion. It’s a bit of a bummer, sure, but on the other hand, Mario’s got a new objective — finding the meaning of life, which is hopefully in the next castle over.

8 Penguin Murder

Most Mario 64 players know the whole “save a penguin, then throw it off the cliff because why not” debacle during the Cool, Cool Mountain level. Essentially, the mission requires players to find a penguin mother’s child — which is wholesome as heck, right?

The less-than-wholesome truth is that if players so choose, Mario can turn right around and chuck the kid off a cliff after finding it. It’s not the most moral thing Mario does, but even heroes have their dark sides.

7 Player Two

Luigi gets always gets the short of the stick. And the saddest memes, apparently. Mario’s brother Luigi has been a 2nd-player option for years. Although Luigi may be second choice in Nintendo World, just think about how many siblings he’s helped feel included over the years. Not to mention, this guy has his very own series now. He even faces the world’s biggest, scariest ghosts! He’s come pretty far.

Those retro Mario players without friends and the sibling who never got any spotlight growing up know exactly what this meme is talking about.

6 Retro Toad Gets Sassy

Most classic Mario memes deal with Luigi’s sidelining. In this one, rather than giving advice or asking for help, this Toad slaps Luigi with all his deepest insecurities. These guys are supposed to be wholesome and cute. This Toad is a dud. Or it’s possessed. Either way, it’s pretty demented.

RELATED: 3D All-Stars: 10 Super Mario 64 Memes That Are Too Hilarious For Words

But there’s always a bright side. At least this Toad doesn’t tell Luigi that the princess is in another castle! Or afflict him with some sort of existential turmoil.

5 The Untold Love Story Of Mario And… Bowser?

This whole time, Bowser has been kidnapping Peach because he’s jealous of her relationship with Mario. However, it’s not because he wants to be with her. The truth is that Bowser is in love with Mario, and he’s sick of Peach always getting in the way!

Okay, yes, this is just a fabricated theory based on this goofy meme. While it would be wonderful and welcome to see some more direct LGBTQ+ representation in the Mario franchise, this likely wouldn’t be the best place to start — Mario and Bowser would be a very toxic duo thanks to their constant fighting.

4 Lazy Artists

That background doesn’t matter all that much, just as long as the main mechanics are working, right? These creators sure think so. Apparently, Nintendo didn’t feel the need to differentiate bushes from clouds. Just slap a different color on there and boom, all is well!

RELATED: 10 Super Mario 3D All-Stars Memes That Are Too Good

Players may not have noticed this subtle similarity, but according to this meme, Mario knows their secrets and he’s not amused. Thankfully, later games really glow up their graphics. It’s hard to complain too much here since this game released in 1985. Despite its age, Super Mario Bros is still looking great.

3 What’s Logic Anyway?

This is a great point, actually. Why is it that Mario can simultaneously swim without needing air, yet at the same time, he instantly dies when touching other areas of water? Sure, in newer games like Mario Odyssey, he at least needs air bubbles to stay under, but in classic Mario games he just trucks along like he’s a fish or something.

Kids games don’t technically always have to make perfect sense, but this one bit of faulty game logic does seem a little odd.

2 Avoiding Sin At The Pearly Gates

Just master the long jump and Saint Peter won’t even notice who passes by. The punchline of this meme is that Mario’s long jump is so monumental that players can navigate just about anything by using it. It would be pretty darn cool to be able to pull this off in real life.

RELATED: 3D All-Stars: 10 Pro Tips For Super Mario 64 You Need To Know

Plus, Mario lore suggests that Mario isn’t as moral as fans seem to think. So it looks like he’s avoiding answering for his many wrongdoings, like mistreating his brother and Donkey Kong in the past.

1 The Deadliest Goomba

Goombas are generally some of the easiest enemies to defeat in the Mario series. Just one bop on the head and they’re done for. However, as this meme depicts, the very first Goomba ever has murdered thousands upon thousands of players throughout gaming history. Call of Duty has nothing on World 1-1’s intro enemy.

After so many murders, this fella should be locked up for life. All hail the most powerful video game enemy of the 1980s.

NEXT:3D All-Stars: 10 Most Annoying Enemies in Super Mario 64

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