Due to his suppressed emotions, Geralt doesn’t feel too strongly on many topics. Yet, anyone who has played The Witcher 3 knows that he has a deep-seated hatred for one thing, in particular, portals. Anytime one of his powerful sorceress allies suggests taking a portal to their destination, the Witcher protests the idea unless it’s absolutely necessary.
The reason why Geralt hates the transportation power is that it doesn’t always work properly. For instance, some people in the Witcher universe have been ripped in half by portals, whereas others have completely disappeared after going through one. It’s a fair reason to distrust them, but that hasn’t stopped fans making memes about Geralt’s hatred.
10 A Witcher’s Only Fear
One of the funniest aspects of Geralt’s reluctance to go through portals is that he pretty much has no other fears. Virtually every day, he comes face to face with dangerous and terrifying monsters.
Yet in the moments he stares death in the face, he doesn’t flinch at all. But someone opens a swirling bit of magic in front of him, and he wants to run in the opposite direction.
9 Holding In His Hatred Of Portals
Geralt doesn’t remain silent about his opinion on portals. Every time anyone mentions them, he makes clear that he’s not a fan.
In fairness to the Witcher, sorceresses keep asking him to go through them no matter how many times he refuses. Maybe if they started respecting his stance on portals, he wouldn’t have to remind them every few minutes.
8 Roach > Portals
Every time Geralt turns down a journey by portal, he uses his trusty horse Roach to get to his destination, instead.
While it may take longer, who can blame the man? Roach is a magnificent horse, so any extra time spent with her is a true honor. Plus, due to her own teleportation abilities, she’s always there when the Witcher needs her. If only she could figure how to teleport Geralt at the same time, then she’d be perfect.
7 Geralt’s Review Of Portal
There isn’t a game series that Geralt would hate more than Valve’s Portal. Not only does it include the dangerous teleportation device, but it also lacks horses to ride, monsters to slay, and women to romance. So playing Portal would be a living hell for the Witcher.
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The game goes so against what he believes in so much that he’s shown his displeasure through Metacritic, despite the website nor video games existing in his universe.
6 Witcher Fused With Portal 2
A combination of Witcher 3 and Portal 2 would be a strange but potentially incredible game. Geralt wouldn’t be a fan, though. The whole game would consist of the Witcher shooting portals, then hesitating to go through them. It certainly would make some of the more complex puzzles very difficult.
Yennefer and Triss, on the other hand, would be in their element. The duo doesn’t even need walls to put portals on.
5 Playing Uno
Speed has never been a major priority for Geralt. He is someone who enters fist-fighting and Gwent tournaments, instead of taking on The Wild Hunt who are mercilessly pursuing his adoptive daughter.
So, of course, the fact that portals are a fast way to travel around isn’t enticing to him. He’d much rather be safe, take his time, and have a pleasurable horse ride, instead of risking his life.
4 Not Everyone Hates Portals
None of the other characters in The Witcher 3 seem to share Geralt’s distrust of portals, not least the ones who conjure them.
Once the Witcher turns down a chance to travel by portal, the sorceress who suggests it always still goes through one. They never decide to travel by horse with Geralt, so they can all get to their destination together. Instead, they immediately open a swirling doorway and walk straight through.
3 Teleportation
Geralt isn’t totally opposed to teleportation. However, he doesn’t use portals; he uses signposts. Depending on the player, he might use this form of teleportation a lot throughout one playthrough.
It’s a bit limiting as he can only use them from specific places and only go to locations he’s been before. Still, there’s no risk of being ripped in half, so it’s worth it.
2 Nightmare Job
In the Witcher universe, even the strongest monster slayers are slowly becoming extinct, so naturally, people are learning to get by without them. That could mean that work starts drying up for Geralt. Fortunately, there are many other ways he can make cash, such as be a bodyguard, an assassin, or a full-time Gwent player.
What he shouldn’t do is take a job at Aperture Laboratories. If he did, he’d spend all day being forced to use portals to solve puzzles. It would be a nightmare existence for the Witcher.
1 Should’ve Chosen Triss
Alongside his hatred for portals, Geralt distastes royal gatherings and fancy clothes.
Unfortunately for him, Yennefer doesn’t mind high society, and she seems to take joy in Geralt’s discomfort. Therefore if Geralt chooses to be with the sorceress, then she’ll likely drag him to upscale events and even make him travel to them by portal. He probably regrets his last wish now.
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