There is an adult conversation to be had about Microsoft purchasing Zenimax and its subsidiary, Bethesda Game Studios. There are stock market implications, the futures industry, financial investments, physical locations, existing assets, employment status, collateral impact on existing and future titles.
This is not that adult conversation. Sure, serious discussion about this will be making headlines for a while now across major media, business, and news sources. But there’s also a time and a place to throw back one’s head in laughter and poke a bit of fun at all of the angles of this story and that time is now. Memelords from all areas of the internet have chimed in on this acquisition and this is a compilation of the most humorous musings that they have to offer.
10 We’re Doing The Same Thing?
Those looking forward to a violent and angry competition in the realm of open-world action role-playing games will be sorely disappointed at this news. Obsidian’s Avowed and Bethesda’s The Elder Scrolls VI titles were supposed to compete ferociously (don’t worry about Skyrim, the modders keep it fresh now).
There will still be competition, but it will be much friendlier than originally anticipated now that Bethesda and Obsidian are working for the same studio.
9 7.5 Billion Bugs
As if Xbox and Microsoft didn’t have enough memes jesting about them already, now they’ve acquired the undisputed rulers of Glitch City in Bethesda. The latter must feel pretty great about the purchase considering the problems with Fallout 76 in terms of both bugs and storyline.
Microsoft might have over one trillion dollars in net worth, but even a safety net that expansive will still have the most diehard fans hoping they understand exactly what they’ve gotten themselves into.
8 Sweet Revenge
The Demon’s Souls remaster was being anticipated by gamers ever since it was launched with issues that needed to be addressed. The word that this game was scheduled to be one of the next-generation titles reached fans, and the celebration was strong. Sadly, the party was short-lived for PC fans.
Sony announced that this was going to be an exclusive deal for the PS5. So what did Microsoft do? They could have lamented another exclusive title eluding their grasp but instead, they went ahead and bought an entire suite of games to one-up their longtime rivals.
7 Unreasonable Expectations
It’s been a Bethesda staple for years. Use an outdated engine, don’t fix any of the problems from previous installments, allow the players to fix the issues, then patch them in and take credit for the problem-solving. The times, they are a-changin’.
Sorry Bethesda, that’s not exactly how Microsoft likes to do business. So hopefully the developers learned a thing or two about their famous bugs and glitches from The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim now that work on the next installment is in full swing.
6 We Are One, Comrade
Many gamers still remember the days of pleading with Microsoft to bring their exclusive games over to the computer. These were dark times for PC gamers who had to buy two Microsoft products in order to play their favorite games.
Now the climate has completely shifted. Xbox acquired the rights to all of those delicious Bethesda titles, yet PC gamers aren’t sweating it. They seem positive that “their” exclusive title announcement will become “our” exclusive title announcement in a matter of days.
5 It’s Not Even A Choice
Game Studios usually make games, right? Don’t tell that to Xbox Game Studios. Even their homepage is a list of other studios that work under their umbrella. The culprit is the parent company, Microsoft, and their desire to buy established studios instead of starting from scratch.
Building everything from scratch is a lot of work. There are investors to persuade, people to hire and pay, ideas to pitch, and expectations to meet. Microsoft’s elegant strategy is to skip that entire process with a check to those who have already braved the storm.
4 Choking On Their Own Words
PlayStation has been the undisputed king of exclusive titles for over a decade now that they sure do let the gamers know about it. It’s in their advertising, their commercials, their quarterly reports, and more. Sony might be small, but they know how to hit where it hurts.
Microsoft has apparently had enough of this. After hearing others arguing that these exclusive deals are good for the consumer, Microsoft has caved in and decided to play the game. Unfortunately for the folks at Sony, Microsoft might have brought a gun to a knife fight.
3 I’m Telling My Dad On You
In the spirit of the last entry, this is another glimpse on how the process unfolded. Oh sure, that innocent and distant PlayStation character seems to be waving nicely, but his comeuppance has arrived in the form of a multi-trillion-dollar company finally getting protective of its Xbox child.
These Bethesda franchises are expecting sequels, even Doom Eternal left players filled with questions after its completion. PlayStation fans have had their fun laughing at the Xbox fans, but the tables might be turning after this revelation.
2 Wait… What Did You Do?
This is really the most intriguing part of the merger. PlayStation fans can somewhat rest assured that their exclusives and deals will remain in place through the existing contracts. Games like Deathloop that are produced under the Zenimax umbrella will still be available on the PlayStation. But this is hardly reassuring for Sony on the business end of things.
Because at least some of the money from these sales will go to their direct competitor. Maybe they might consider making another great PSP game to avoid this next generation drama?
1 A Real Competition
Sony fans should not despair over this turn of events (despite how funny the memes directed at them are). They’ve been able to claim victory over the last several launch cycles and they are sure to see this step by Microsoft as a challenge and not an excuse to give up hope.
The PlayStation still has a long list of exclusive titles sure to interest plenty of gamers for the upcoming console wars. The only difference is that it looks like it will actually be a war instead of a one-sided stomping.
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