The Covid pandemic rages on, disrupting life in countless ways, none quite so personal as the havoc it’s wreaking on love lives. Hard to meet a new object of affection when there’s a quarantine in place. What to do? Project that thirst onto fictional characters until things get figured out!
There’s a plethora of things to watch as people spend a bit more time at home during the pandemic. One could indulge in some kids movies to fill their heart with rainbows and sparkles, or start getting into anime for the first time. But is there anything that could quench the dry throats of the isolated and the lonely? Here’s a refreshing yet spicy cup of TV shows with plenty of bachelors and bachelorettes to choose from.
Netflix’s The Witcher did remarkably well upon its release, and there’s no denying that its delicious casting played a major part in its success. Henry Cavill as Geralt covered in dirt while fiercely staring at the camera? Anya Chalotra as Yennefer in that gothic, luxurious dress? Uh, hell yes. They serve as fine parings with those spicy bathtub scenes inspired by the video games. Better yet, there’s more to come as season 2 is being released on October 30th. Which means more of Geralt rolling around in the mud and speaking with that deep, nearly incomprehensible growl that shakes the earth so. Such turbulent heartache for these characters intensifies as Jaskier comes into close proximity with the two, even confessing to rubbing Geralt’s bottom with oil at some point. That damn lucky bard!
Castlevania the game series did indeed have some attractive characters, though the nostalgia factor of these arcade games and some outlandish story-telling is what fans loved about it. But Castlevania the TV series put a new light on the Castlevania universe and brought out the sex factor as well. Why? Because the show creators probably took one look at Alucard and said, “Oh man, we gotta make everyone else just as sexy and pretty as him because then it won’t be fair.” The latest season 3 was undeniably horny and brought in some brand new people that fans fell hard for, creating a whole dating simulator’s worth of characters that will please everyone. The beautiful but angst-ridden Alucard, the stubborn yet hopeful Sypha, the rough and tumble dirty boy Trevor. And Lenore…oh, Lenore! A purely evil being, yet that sultry hiss with her fangs can make an army faint at the sight. And since it’s riddled with vampires and spooky aesthetics, Castlevania is the perfect show to watch in October.
Attractive ladies in tight spandex wrestling each other into the ground. That’s it. That’s the only important thing about the show. Kidding! Of course, GLOW has more substance to it than that, including its diverse cast of women. The show even brings up the rampant racism and sexism in the entertainment industry in a smart and engaging way, and also touches upon the triumphs and struggles of the LGBTQ+ community during the 80s. Those in itself are thirst-quenching enough, so the attractive characters are a huge plus. And okay, there’s the sex scenes and the nudity that might be appealing, it’s whatever. But watching these gorgeous ladies of wrestling confidently march into the ring and throw each other around while their big hair sprayed 80’s hair reflects the shine of the oil on their skin…anyways! The show was unfortunately cancelled by Netflix due to COVID related issues, but the first 3 seasons remain immortalized on the streaming website.
As if fans didn’t get enough of the dashing Prince Zuko from Avatar: The Last Airbender series, The Legend of Korra decided to unleash their artists and animators to go further on the hotness factor, and they certainly didn’t hold back with the unique designs of their characters. While protagonists Korra, Asami, Mako, and Bolin get most of the spotlight, the side characters get their own attractive designs as well. Kuvira, played by Zelda Williams, has got some strong brow game that can make anyone weak in the knees. Opal’s big, radiant eyes can soften the hearts of even the toughest earth bender. And Korra’s dad? Hello, sir. Now that The Legend of Korra is available on Netflix to keep fans occupied until the live-action Avatar: The Last Airbender remake is released, anyone can tap into this beautifully animated show and watch Asami’s flawless mane of hair stay absolutely perfect in every single shot somehow.
There is no way this article can not NOT feature Game of Thrones, it has an obligation to have a spot here. Fans have fallen deeply in love with the characters, and for good reason, too. Don’t listen to anyone who says, “I like the fantasy elements and the intricate plotline–” No! The only thing everyone came here for was to watch Pedro Pascal’s Oberyn frolic about with that scandalous popped open shirt collar robe thing. His wife Ellaria is his equal in sexiness, both making a power couple sitting upon a throne of pure bisexual thirst. Grey Worm is simply divine, such a man, in heavy competition with the brooding Jon Snow. Bronn, Daenerys, Margaery–Oh, there are simply too many! This show is just stuffed with people specifically formulated to be hot. On the downside, this show might just suck viewers dry instead of curing their thirst, since Game of Thrones is known for killing off many favorite characters. So choose wisely amongst these troubled monarchs and heirs and bastards to prevent terrible heartbreak, and to quench thy parched throat.
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