The Witcher series is no stranger to humorous happenings of all kinds. Be it from game dialogue, funny glitches, or fan-created memes, there are a lot of laughs to be had among the monster-slaying and action-packed adventures players experience from Geralt of Rivia’s perspective.
Though, these good times are not exclusive to the main games. For the card game based on the incredible series, Gwent, continues to reference, and sometimes enhance, the jokes and memes birthed from Geralt’s trials and traveling. This is proof that a franchise should not take itself too seriously, even if it houses great games, for real fans love reasons to converse about the weird and wacky.
10 It’s Always Time For Gwent
It does not matter when, where, or what is happening, Gwent is always the answer. Given the many dialogue options presented to the player that allows them to choose to initiate a round of this enjoyable card game over important emotional moments or quest progress, it’s no wonder gamers give priority to busting out their deck for a good time. Surely this poor sap will forget all about his woes after losing some of his best cards to Geralt’s stacked strategies… Right?
9 Shupe Like Umans Who Like Gwenty-Cards
Shupe, the lovable card-selling rock troll, makes appearances in games besides Gwent, like in Thronebreaker: The Witcher Tales, but fans sometimes have a difficult time thinking about him outside of his role as a card merchant. So much so that Thronebreaker has been invaded by some Gwent memes as well. Players will likely identify greatly with this as the sight of Shupe’s rough hide and easy, yet jagged, smile evokes memories and thoughts of much sought-after new, and possibly rare, cards.
8 Small And Deadly Folk
Those who have gone up against a dwarf deck know full well that underestimating these vertically challenged people can lead to one’s demise. One moment, the player has the upper hand, but then all of a sudden the fields are swarming with powerful units boasting high numbers and resilience. Not only are dwarf cards hardier than most, but many of the common ones can hold their own against much rarer foes with little more assistance than being next to another dwarf.
7 Plans Foiled By A Hungry Monster
There are many ways to play Gwent, though most strategies fall into two broad categories: increasing your own power or decreasing your opponent’s. One card that can be incredibly annoying to go up against is the Kayran, which has the ability to consume a foe’s card and gain its power.
These days there are many restrictions to who, or what, the Kayran can consume, but back in the day there was none. Early during Gwent‘s beta-testing phase, this monster faction card was able to consume any opponent unit. One could sit back, wait for the foe to buff a single card, and then snatch all their hard work away with one sinister move. Insert a chef’s kiss here.
6 The Spy Who Shagged You
Nilfgaard faction cards offer some of the highest control in the game. Regardless of counter-strategy, their sneaky little spies always tend to find their ways into one’s ranks and throw a wrench into the gears of a player’s plot. Defending against a frontal assault is common sense in war, even in one involving cards, but defending your back at the same time can divide one’s focus enough to cause mistakes and overlooking what the opponent is doing. Enough that even more dastardly rogues can find their way into one’s army, escalating problems from bad to worse.
5 Can’t Defend Against What You Can’t Predict
Though the Scoia’tael faction boasts many powerful dwarf and elf cards, it is hard to gauge what exactly an opponent wielding these cards will do. Players can take a stab at guessing their foe’s strategy from looking at the leader card being used, but this can sometimes be meant to misdirect. Not unlike the guerilla tactics the Scoia’tael would use in the main series games. Wacky and versatile, this faction is not one to make assumptions against, lest one wants to deal with half a dozen elves appearing straight from the enemy’s deck without being drawn first.
4 Railroaded Strategies
Skellige decks at one point had little variation, compared to other factions. There were a handful of cards that did all the heavy lifting while many others simply did not see any competitive use. Thankfully, this is no longer the case thanks to lots of testing and feedback by gamers. Though, there are some things that have not changed.
When venturing into the waters near this brutal island nation be sure to bring something to clear discard piles. Bears and ghosts, bears and ghosts everywhere!
3 Roach The Meme Horse
Longtime fans of the franchise will be familiar with not only Roach, Geralt’s loyal steed, but a specific glitch as well. There were times in the main games that when called, Roach would not trot up to Geralt’s side. Upon looking around for their mount, players would sometimes find the silly stallion atop a railing, tree, or even a house! After many memes spawned from this occurrence, CD Projekt Red decided to immortalize this joke in the form of a card illustration in Gwent depicting the infamous, and hilarious, glitch.
2 Worn Down By Weather Cards
The monster faction is one that boasts high powered units and the ability to send out many at once. In addition to this, they can buff, consume, and multiply. Though, they are far from invincible, because nothing sorts out a swarm like a storm. Many smaller units, like those spawned by insectoid card effects, fall victim to weather cards more than others. Biting frost, impenetrable fog, and torrential rains wreak havoc for monsters. And that’s not even mentioning the rarer weather cards.
1 Preemptive Rage Quitting
There’s nothing quite like an easy victory at the result of one’s opponent’s salty frustration. Sometimes it is due to bad luck on their part, other times it’s from losing repeatedly in previous matches. For a game all about competition, this makes laddering convenient due to how the game treats these situations. Thankfully, in Gwent, this results in a victory for the player who does not disconnect out of dismay, making the salty tears of one’s enemy all the more delicious for the victor.
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