Chocobos are a staple of the Final Fantasy series and have featured in every game since their first appearance in Final Fantasy II. They can help players to traverse difficult terrain, take part in races, and even help out in battle. They really are incredible creatures. As amazing as Chocobos are though, there are times when their abilities just don’t add up.
When it comes to Chocobo lore, the series contradicts itself on numerous occasions. Things that were established in earlier titles are later shown to be false while certain abilities and characteristics are far beyond the realms of possibility. When it comes to everybody’s favorite feathered friends, there are a lot of things that really don’t make sense.
10 They Can Store Items
In certain games, it is possible to use Fat Chocobos as a type of storage device. While the creatures are certainly large enough for this to make sense, their lack of pockets makes the concept somewhat problematic. Some games show the Chocobos eating the items, but this presents another major issue.
While theoretically, it would be possible for them to vomit items back out, that they would be able to expel only the requested item and not everything else in their stomachs makes no sense at all. Any items stored for more than a very short period of time would also come back up partially digested.
9 Their Abilities Are Inconsistent
Although most commonly used as a form of land transport, Chocobos have many different abilities. They can swim, climb mountains and some can even fly. What a Chocobo can and can’t do is determined by its color, with yellow Chocobos typically having no special talents. This isn’t always the case though.
In Final Fantasy XIII, Sazh’s yellow Chocobo chick is able to fly and does so on various occasions. Additionally, the yellow Chocobos found in Final Fantasy XV can both glide and swim. This is completely at odds with the abilities of yellow Chocobos in earlier games in the series and, as such, does not make sense.
8 They Can Walk On Water
Although there are some creatures that are able to walk on water, they are typically very light or spread their weight over a large surface area. Given the size of Chocobos though, it seems likely that they are pretty heavy and their talons would do a terrible job of spreading their weight. As such, walking on water is a feat that should be out of the question.
Even if Chocobos were light enough (which seems unlikely given their diet) there is a much bigger problem to consider. That they must also carry the additional weight of party members would make sinking an absolute certainty – especially considering that some of the earlier games in the series saw the whole party sharing a single Chocobo.
7 They Can Turn Into Humans
Prior to the events of Final Fantasy XIII, one of the game’s main protagonists purchased a cute baby Chocobo chick for his son. The bird lives in Sazh’s afro and accompanies him throughout the events of the game. By the time Final Fantasy XIII-2 comes around though, the young chick has completely changed.
Given the time that’s passed since the original game, one might expect the Chocobo to have grown into adulthood. This isn’t the case though. The chick has instead turned into a woman named Chocolina. She’s a traveling merchant who, according to the game’s lore, was given the ability to take human form by the Goddess Etro. Divine intervention may explain it to a degree, but it’s a bizarre turn of events nonetheless.
6 They Grow At Varying Rates
Although eventually becoming a woman, Sazh’s Chocobo chick doesn’t change in size throughout the whole of Final Fantasy XIII. Given how long the game is, this suggests that it takes quite a while for a Chocobo to reach adolescence. This is directly contradicted in Final Fantasy VII, however, where things seem to happen at a much faster rate.
Not only do Chocobo eggs hatch with almost no incubation period whatsoever, but the newly born Chocobos are immediately large enough for three people to ride. To be fair, it’s possible that there is a time skip here that the player isn’t aware of. Were this the case though, the meteor hurtling towards the planet would surely be much closer to collision after breeding.
5 They Can Ride Bicycles
During the 90s, spinoff racing games were all the rage, thanks in large to the runaway success of the Mario Kart series. Crash Bandicoot, Sonic, and Mega Man were just a few of the iconic characters who got their own titles. Although a Final Fantasy kart-racer never came to be, Square did release one featuring the big yellow birds.
According to the game, Chocobos are able to ride bicycles, drive, and even roller-skate. None of this really makes any sense though given the anatomy of the birds. Wings can neither be used to grip nor can they bend into the kind of positions needed to steer a vehicle. The Chocobos would also require custom-made skates to accommodate their oddly-shaped feet.
4 They Can Sometimes Speak
‘Wark’ and ‘Kweh’ are about as much as one’s ever likely to hear from a Chocobo. Every now and again though, they have been known to converse with humans. Speaking is usually reserved for the Fat Chocobo, but there are a few other instances throughout the series where regular Chocobos have spoken.
While there are several real-world species of bird that can talk, it’s typically something that the entire species can do rather than just a select few. Were all Chocobos capable of speech, it seems incredibly likely that Bartz’ Chocobo Boko would have done so given the strength of their bond. Boco’s failure to speak suggests that it’s not something that regular Chocobo can do.
3 Their Offspring’s Color Is Affected By Their Diet
Chocobo breeding plays a fairly important role in Final Fantasy VII. In order to gain access to certain materia, players will need to get their hands on a gold Chocobo. While this can also be achieved by defeating Ruby weapon and trading the Desert Rose for one, many instead choose to breed their own.
The type of Chocobo that the player gets is dependent on a few factors. The most important is the color of the parents and this makes sense to some degree. Two other important elements though are the food that is fed to the Chocobo before it breeds and the nut that is given to the breeding pair. While diet can determine the size of an animal’s offspring, that it could also determine its color is nonsensical.
2 They Lower The Encounter Rate To Zero
Whether or not players can encounter enemies while riding a Chocobo varies from game to game. There doesn’t really seem to be any logic behind this and no explanation is ever given to the player. Given that in several games the only way to encounter a wild Chocobo is in battle though, this is a little baffling.
In those games, Chocobos typically appear alongside random enemies which shows that it’s clearly possible for them to be attacked or encountered by monsters. As such, for the encounter rate to drop to zero simply because a Chocobo is being ridden doesn’t make sense – especially considering how much of a monster-magnet the party is.
1 They Trust Humans
Ghastly though it may seem, there are several Final Fantasy games where it’s possible to eat Chocobo meat. There’s a Chocobo Sandwich found in Final Fantasy XV and a Chocobo Burger was sold at the 2015 Paris Game Show to promote the game. Additionally, the Final Fantasy XIV side-quest ‘A Taste of the Peculiar‘ has players kill a Chocobo and harvest its meat for consumption.
Chocobo are shown to be incredibly smart creatures throughout the series. Not only can they form emotional bonds with humans, but they’re also capable of returning home after being ridden and some can even talk. As such, the birds should be smart enough not to serve a species that will presumably end up eating them.
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