Fantasy often showcases otherworldly concepts and scenarios that audiences only dream of, and The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt is no exception. This open-world action RPG features a sprawling setting that benefits from both its source material and the immense devotion of the developers. Players can’t go five minutes without seeing something exotic and intriguing to explore.
With such a fantastical playground, however, comes the inevitable oddness. The Witcher 3 has plenty of weird activities and bizarre individuals to its name. Some of these make one wonder about the developers’ mental state when crafting the game. However, it would be a lie to say that they’re not amusing to watch and partake in. Screwball situations are usually good for a laugh, and Geralt of Rivia’s exploits have something for the absurdist in everyone.
10 Fistfight A Bear And A Troll
As Geralt travels the world, one of the side quests that he can partake in is a series of fistfights against the champions of each land. The final batch of fighters lies in Skellige. However, these challenges hold a few surprises.
One of the champions is actually a colossal bear, which Geralt must defeat without any weapons. Once he does this, he then moves on to the Champion of Champions: a rock troll. Clearly, the people of Skellige are pretty inclusive. It could also be an elaborate prank. In fact, why can’t it be both?
9 Body Taken Over By Spirit
The weirdness that occasionally popped up in the main story returned in spades for the DLC. In Hearts of Stone, Olgierd von Everec tasks Geralt with showing his brother a good time. The problem is that the brother is dead. The solution is simple yet effective: borrow the witcher’s body and enjoy a night of dancing and festivities with Geralt’s old friend, Shani.
It’s a wacky excursion. Much of the novelty comes from seeing how flamboyant Geralt is with this spirit inside him, especially given how gung-ho he is with the party activities. This is probably the only time players will see the witcher chase pigs into their pen or do a joyous jig. That’s a real shame.
8 Go Into A Book Of Fairy Tales
The DLC stories seem to have a thing for sending Geralt into inanimate objects. Hearts of Stone sees the witcher enter a painting, and Blood and Wine sends him into a book filled with classic fables. To locate a lost princess, Geralt must navigate the yellow brick road, Rapunzel’s tower, and several other iconic landmarks. Along the way, he’ll contend with colorful characters like the Three Little Pigs, Little Red Riding Hood, and a wicked witch or two.
Despite seeming like one big joke, this adventure is surprisingly expansive, with the world itself being stuffed with vibrantly colored marvels and details just waiting for eagle-eyed players to spot. It’s sure to please any Grimm fairy tale fans, but the tongue-in-cheek tone of it all conjures up images of Shrek. It’s then one realizes how much that crossover would rule.
7 Lose A Fight Against A Ghost
Geralt has lifted plenty of curses in his time. Most of them involve a complicated ritual or atonement for some past sin. Here, though, the solution is easy as pie.
Ulle the Unlucky is condemned to lose any fight that he gets into. No matter how many times he’s slain, he always comes back. If Geralt lets himself lose their battle, though, then Ulle’s suffering will end and he’ll happily pass into the next life. The witcher literally solves a problem by doing nothing. He really earned his money here, didn’t he?
6 Star In A Play
Geralt sure puts up with a lot in his quest to find Ciri. As he searches Novigrad, he must draw out a timid doppler named Dudu (yes, really). Convincing the guy to come out of hiding involves sending a subtextual message through a stage play, which the developers put a curious amount of detail into.
This makes the witcher responsible for gathering the theatre company, rounding up hired thugs for security, selecting the actors, helping develop the story, and even starring in the show himself. If players remember the correct lines, then they can potentially earn rave reviews for their performance. Perhaps Geralt missed his calling as a thespian.
5 Bring An Unborn Baby Back From The Dead
The Witcher world is already dark, but this is just morbid. Geralt must help the local baron locate his lost family. Sadly, it’s not as simple as looking. The witcher learns of the baron’s abusive behavior toward his pregnant wife, which resulted in a miscarriage. The unborn baby became a botchling, and it’s one of the most repulsive-yet-heart-wrenching things you’ll ever see in a game.
It only gets more bizarre. Performing the necessary ritual on this thing turns it into a friendly spirit called a “lubberkin.” Geralt then follows this spirit to find the baron’s wife and daughter. The whole tale is an unsettling one. Not only are the visuals Lovecraftian at times, but the narrative beneath them is so tragically pathetic that it’s hard to feel fulfilled once it’s over. Few players probably saw the game taking such a trajectory for one of its main missions.
4 Help A Troll Become A Redanian Soldier
Redanians may be cracking down on nonhumans, but that doesn’t stop this plucky troll from signing up. Trollololo was minding his own business when some Redanian troops ordered him to guard a batch of boats they’d stolen from peasants. When the peasants retaliated, the ensuing battle freaked the troll out, causing him to kill everyone on both sides. That sounds like grounds for slaying the creature, but it’s hard to fault him due to his childlike mentality and his staunch belief in doing his duty.
After all, he thinks he’s in the Redanian army. He’ll guard his little fort with his life, and Geralt can help. After fetching some paint, he and Trollololo color the Redanian crest on the fort. Well, it must be official now. The tyrannical King Radovid has a troll working for him, and a witcher helped a monster paint his house.
3 Talk To Roach
Another day, another job. Geralt is hired to fight an invisible bloodsucker, but the only way to see it is to drink a suspicious mushroom brew. After downing the drink, the witcher is shocked to hear his horse start speaking to him.
What’s more is that, instead of having a youthful, feminine voice that no one would expect from a mare, Roach sounds like a backtalking businessman. Every moment with these two is now filled with uncertainty. Is Geralt’s companion really like this, or is it just the mushrooms talking?
2 Find Lancelot’s Sword
Many stories in The Witcher 3 echo fables and folktales from the real world. Is it a side effect of the dimension-hopping antics of Ciri and other gifted individuals, or did the creator/developers simply want to draw from previous work in a cheeky reference?
Displaying the five chivalric values and defeating the mysterious hermit grants Geralt a sword called “Aerondight.” In Arthurian legend, this was the blade of Sir Lancelot. The witcher even receives it from the Lady of the Lake. This must mean that King Arthur’s greatest knight now has no weapon. Way to go. Then again, it is the best silver sword in the game, so don’t lose too much sleep over it.
1 Play As Henry Cavill
Silly and off-kilter adjustments are par for the course when it comes to mods, and those in The Witcher 3 let you change the characters and the world around them in predictably ludicrous ways. One of the most mind-blowing of these mods makes Geralt resemble Henry Cavill, who currently plays the character in the Witcher TV series.
The mod itself is crafted well (to go along with the actor’s spot-on portrayal), but it nearly recontextualizes the whole setting. Seeing Cavill’s Geralt running around with the other in-game characters creates an uncanny feeling of watching a crossover or deepfake, two pieces of media have suddenly been thrown together. That’s what makes it equal parts crazy and perfect. It’s weirder than most things in the Witcher lore, and that’s saying a lot.
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