You know those games that you boot up, spend about 20 minutes with, and then realise ‘ah crap. It’s got me’? That’s Vampire Survivors. I come at this compelling little sprite-based game as a creature that’s sunk over 1000 hours into The Binding of Isaac across the multiple platforms I own it on – the sort of compulsive gimp that zones out in these endless, power-up games and uses it as a form of meditation. So, the second I upgraded my first bulb of garlic and started flinging knives at the throbbing undead, I knew it had got me.
But I’m also 30, and live with my partner, and have responsibilities. So I can’t just sit in my pants, dip bread in anything runnier than bread, drink beer, and play games all night. I have Shit To Do: socialising with my partner, walking the dog, seeing friends. But how the hell am I supposed to get all my Shit To Do done and also tick off all 1200G of Vampire Survivors in a week? How can I make sure I’m blasting through the game and unlocking all the characters whilst seeing who wins this series of Bake Off? I didn’t think there was a clean solution… until Xbox itself sent a push notification to my phone.
“Don’t forget, Dom,” it said (I’m paraphrasing), “that you can play whenever and wherever you like! Sitting on the bog? In the queue at Asda? Enduring another anecdote from your most milquetoast friend? Download the Xbox Game Pass app now, and play wherever you wish.” You know what I did next? I downloaded the Xbox Game Pass app, and since then, I’ve been playing wherever I wish.
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