Facebook Dating (Zuck didn’t take our new name suggestion) launches in America today. So as racist conspiracy uncles finally get a chance at anonymous love through the monolithic social network, we thought we’d once again bust out these icebreakers. They’ll save your romance the way Facebook saved the news business.
Facebook has been in the news a lot these days. That’s just what happens when its CEO Mark Zuckerberg is summoned to testify before ignorant politicians about “accidentally” subverting democracy. But much thirstier, if perhaps equally dire, news just broke at Facebook’s F8 developers conference. After testing a version of the functionality last year, Facebook is now prepared to roll out dating features into the main Facebook app. Watch out, Tinder. Zuck’s coming for ya.
When it launches later this year, Facebook Dating will allow nearby single users to discreetly match up with each other for real relationships, not just hook-ups. This isn’t “Fuck by Zuck.” Totally separate from your friends and normal chats, you can reveal yourself to members of a group or attendees of an event and talk from there. And they’ll be typical dating app features as well like Tinder-style profiles and swiping.
We don’t know when exactly Facebook Dating will arrive, but with over two billion folks already on the social network, competition is bound to be fierce. So get an early leg up on love with these seven icebreakers perfect for Facebook Dating. Just ask your potential match one of these and you’ll no doubt be thanking Zuckerberg for your future children.
1. What do you think of the “acclaimed” 2010 film The Social Network? It’s all made-up garbage fiction, right? David Fincher is such a hack. Mark definitely didn’t screw over his friends.
2. How comfortable do you like to be when you’re called before Congress? Do you bring your own booster pillow? That’s a normal thing for normal people?
— Jordan Minor (@JordanWMinor) April 10, 2018
3. Hey girl/boy/person, you’ve got some hot big data? You want to get a little less… private?
4. We all know Trump sucks but what if a good celebrity ran for president? What if that celebrity was really smart and rich and already in touch with the American people because they spent years volunteering a bunch of their personal information to him? That would be fine, right?
5. If, hypothetically, you bought a virtual reality company run by a fascist little marshmallow boy with an old-timey baseball player’s name, how would you go about making him completely disappear?
6. You ready to take this chat to Instagram DMs? That’s pretty much already Facebook Dating.
7. So what do you like to do for fun? Destroy truth?
