Online plant shop Patch has opened a London hotel exclusively for houseplants.
Let friends and neighbors off the hook during your next vacation, and instead take precious botanicals to the Patch Plant Hotel.
The all-inclusive resort is free to book: A seasonal menu of 100 percent organic and vegan food, access to the Plant Spa, and climate-controlled “rooms” are on the house.
Plant parents can rest easy knowing the Battersea-based accommodation employs a team of specialists, including an in-house wellness team.
“The hotel is a sanctuary for your beloved plants. They will be in great company and looked after with the respect and love they so richly deserve,” hotel manager Rose Grower (really) told House Beautiful. “So many of us have asked a friend or family member to water the plants when we’re away, only to return to disappointment.
“The hotel not only saves your plants, but your relationships, too,” she added.
One hundred “rooms” are available for booking through Sept. 5: Enter the arrival and departure dates and how many plants—indoor and outdoor—you want to check in.
When booking, don’t forget to notify staff of special requirements: “Penny is known to get burnt in the midday sun and partial to a drink in the evening. Bob can’t handle his drink; if he has too much, he’ll go all weird.”
“We all know the crushing disappointment when you return from holiday to find your plant has gone from green lusciousness, to a burnt, dry bunch of twigs,” Freddie Blackett, CEO of Patch, said. “We wanted to open the hotel to give a helping hand to the increasing number of ‘plant parents.’”
More and more millennials are trading pets for shrubbery: They’re quieter. And you’d be hard-pressed to find a landlord who won’t allow a countertop cactus.
Sure, you’ll look a bit bonkers loading up a taxi with a bunch of ferns, yucca, a dragon tree, and two trailing spider plants.
But, honestly, how is that really any different than loading your reluctant labrador retriever into the family van on its way to the kennel?
There’s no word on whether Patch plans to franchise its (frankly brilliant) plant hotel.
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